Supervillain? More like supermodel with that gorgeous complexion. In case you’re unfamiliar with one of the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s most recent villains, Taserface is a primary antagonist from the film Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.
Spoilers from the film may be included below. Read at your own risk, movie buffs.
Rocket Raccoon: "Your name is Taserface?”
Taserface: "That's right.”
Rocket Raccoon: "So you shoot tasers out of your face?”
Taserface: "It's metaphorical!”
Metaphorical or not, "Taserface" isn’t a fearsome supervillain title.
A villain’s name should strike fear into the hearts of men, not laughter. It should send chills running down a hero's spine, not chuckles. You’d think a notorious intergalactic bounty-hunting space pirate would get the memo.
Maybe Taserface was looking for a “shocking” title to “spark” fear into his foes. Maybe he neglected to research the fact that TASER devices are less-lethal self-defense tools, not malicious pain-inflicting weapons. Maybe the pirate wanted an alias as re-“volt”-ing as his face. Maybe we need to relax with our TASER-related puns…
A villain with an actual TASER Pulse for a face would be more intimidating than the name “Taserface.” Don’t believe us? Try this bone-chilling beast on for size:
Scary, huh? And yes, if you're wondering, that's just Taserface with a TASER-face. Creativity at its finest.
Harry Potter is a better Taserface than “Taserface” if not solely due to the lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Plus, the fictional wizard-boy can actually shoot lightning from his wand. At least Harry had the common sense to retain a normal name, as opposed to something stupid like “Lightningbolthead” or “Orphanwizardwithmagicalpowersface.”
Even the Guardians of the Galaxy, Taserface’s actual nemeses, thought his name was a joke. Rocket Raccoon, especially, is guilty of mocking the villain multiple times. Check out this quote from the film:
"I just keep imagining you waking up in the morning, looking in the mirror and in all seriousness to yourself saying 'You know what would be a really kick-ass name? Taserface!’
What was the second option? Scrotumhead?”
- Rocket Raccoon
I’m sure the Guardians “forget” to mention Mr. Scrotumhead when listing the bad-guys they’ve bested. I’m sure even Taserface’s loyal cronies “forget” to put his name on their résumé, just so they don’t have to explain to future villainous employers how their interstellar crime syndicate boss looked like a bearded raisin, with a name to match.
Point is, as formidable as a TASER device may be, nearly anything is more formidable than the title “Taserface.”
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